Habitual Distractions are Bad, Okay

I was taking a shower, as I do regularly, and I was thinking about drugs. You know, like marijuana, alcohol, caffeine, and video games; drugs like that.

No but seriously, I was thinking about how we interact with these substances and activities, and what constitutes "good" and "bad". None of them are inherently evil; the idea of good and evil is strictly subjective, and marijuana is just a plant trying to convert sunlight to energy and spread its seed[1] until someone turns it into a CBD gummy or the world's biggest joint.

I want to start by recontextualizing this conversation entirely; I don't like using good and evil, because their definitions are broad and fraught with social baggage. Instead, I want you think about it in the sense of listening to yourself as a being a net positive, and ignoring yourself to be a net negative.

You could describe these as mindful activities and mindless activities.

Mindful; Listening to Yourself

By listening to yourself, I mean giving your brain space to process information and being mindful of what your mind and body are telling you. For example, let's say you play Warhammer 40,000: Darktide for three hours, and when you take your headphones off, you realize you are both desperately thirsty and you had to pee two hours ago, so you have to hobble across your house to bathroom so you don't make a mess.[2] But this goes well beyond the immediate, physical needs and maintenance of our bodies. The Pomodoro Technique is built around the idea (and there are various studies that back this up) that our brains need time to process new information in order for us to learn it properly.

Additionally, there are plenty of sources that suggest that adding meditation to your day measurably improves your life.[3] I noticed while I was studying for the CCNA that meditating (and sometimes just daydreaming) a few times a day for only 5 minutes each time improved my sleep, energy, and focus, and reduced my anxiety dramatically.

Mindful activities help you think, and to quote Taylor Swift, "I think, therefore I am."[4] Thinking is part of what defines you as human, and what we have claimed for so long separates us from animals;[5] we're so wrapped up around whether ChatGPT is true AI or just a word algorithm, and if that distinction even matters, and yet we take for granted that we have pretty good brains ourselves, and sometimes we just need to give them a moment to breathe for themselves.

What's the opposite of that?

Mindless; Ignoring Yourself

By ignoring yourself, you're blocking out or overwhelming the subtle information your brain is processing, and effectively[6] doing the exact opposite of listening to yourself. It's easy to say things like "Video games bad! TV bad! Cannabis bad!", but as I mentioned earlier, they are not bad in their own right. TV shows and video games can be art[7] or platforms that enable us to socialize with friends or family, and cannabis and alcohol can help us loosen up, unwind, or have a good time.

HUGE DISCLAIMER: I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, or an actor who plays one on TV, and I am not qualified to give you answers on how to stop or start doing things.[8] If you feel uncomfortable with your own behavior, I encourage you to talk with a therapist if you can afford it.[9] HealthyGamerGG on YouTube is a great free resource that can help you to navigate these kinds of issues.

The challenge is defining what's unhealthy. It's easy to point to extremes;[10] the person who comes home from work and immediately opens a can of beer. The person who has Netflix always on in the background. The person who feels that they can't go to sleep without smoking cannabis first. Doomscrolling, which people continue to do despite having "doom" LITERALLY in the name.

But what about less-extreme examples? Maybe you only drink after a hard day, or maybe you only scroll TikTok for 30 minutes before bed. It's often easier to describe unhealthy behaviors in other people than for ourselves, whether because we feel uncomfortable examining ourselves that closely, we feel justified in the activity, or we feel compelled to do the things we're doing.

Why are these bad[11] for you? They are automatic; default; habitual; they require no thought, and they deny you the chance to take stock and decide what would actually benefit you.

For example, I enjoy playing games on my computer, and I've spent hours in the evening playing games with friends. But if my friends are offline, I still feel that pull to play games, even if it's less rewarding to do and I will probably feel worse afterward.[12] Sometimes, particularly after a long day, I conveniently forget that I will probably feel bad later, probably stay up too late, and play the game anyway.

I'm taking something I enjoy in moderation, making it worse, and then feeling bad about it, and when said out loud, it sounds like a pretty bad deal.

With this in mind, I think there are a few things you can to do try to resolve these issues on your own.[13]

How to Listen to Yourself Better

WORK IN PROGRESS; I'm still figuring out how I want to write this part, but I wanted to share this article generally even before it's done[14] because I think it has some good content.

  1. Create time for mindful activities
    1. You literally can. The Medito app is free and allows you to set custom meditation lengths, and if you are an average American, you absolutely have time enough.
      1. You don't need to sit for 4 hours staring at nothing; start with a minute. One minute. Do that a couple times through the day or week. Move it up to 3 minutes.
        1. Myself, I find that one to four sessions spanning about four to five minutes each is optimal. I set a 5 minute timer, and meditate for as long as I can, often ending around 4:30.
      2. Do you ever go to the bathroom? Then you have (probably) a minute or two right there to do a quick meditation.
    2. Go for a walk, and don't listen to music or a podcast or anything while doing it.
      1. Listen to the world around you. Listen your feet on the ground, your heart in your chest, the thoughts in your mind.
    3. You can also just add mindfulness to your day-to-day.
      1. When washing dishes, try not to think about anything but doing the best damn job washing those dishes you've ever done.
      2. When making the bed, control your breathing, and focus on the feel of the cloth in your fingers
      3. When brushing your teeth, perform every stroke with intention.
      4. When brewing tea or coffee, focus on the sound of the boiler, the smell of the tea as you open the pouch, the coffee as you grind the beans, the steam as it rises from the cup.
  2. Realize you want something to change
    1. Think about those goal types I talked about earlier; do you actually want to change, or is this a shame goal?
    2. If you truly want something to change, use that momentum, plan to take some time to sit with yourself and take the next step.
  3. Identify your values and problematic behaviors
    1. Sit down with yourself with a pen and paper[15] and write down what you value.
      1. Spending time with family?
      2. Playing or walking your pets?
      3. Feeling rested?
      4. Working on hobbies?
      5. Reading?
      6. etc.
    2. Turn the page over, write
  4. Plan to modify your behavior
    1. What can you do to increase or improve the things you value?
    2. What can you do to reduce or stop the behaviors you want to stop?
      1. Please also include things that you can do to fill in the empty time. Even if you don't smoke tobacco (or aren't planning on quitting tobacco), look up the guides;[16] [17] they all talk about filling the void left by smoking with something else.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Wisdom

  1. ew. ↩︎

  2. Your author has never done this. ↩︎

  3. I couldn't be bothered to look up the actual studies, but there are tons of them ranging from studies on PTSD, anxiety, sleep, etc. etc. ↩︎

  4. Je pense, donc je suis une pomme de terre ↩︎

  5. Turns out, we are animals, and intelligence is a sliding scale, and thinking of the world in terms of strict binary categories is probably not that healthy. ↩︎

  6. Perhaps, even, literally ↩︎

  7. Even though frequently they are just cash-grabs, sometimes they can be both. ↩︎

  8. The reader angrily glares at the screen, screaming out "You'd better not have wasted my time, man writing monologues on the internet!" ↩︎

  9. Even if you have good insurance, finding a therapist in network who is accepting patients is often incredibly difficult if not impossible. ↩︎

  10. If you find yourself doing these things, you are not doomed. However, I feel you would be happier and healthier if you found a way not to do them. ↩︎

  11. I know, I said I wouldn't use it, but here I am... ↩︎

  12. This is subjective, but for example if I play Battlebit alone, I often get frustrated and disconnect in a worse mood than before. ↩︎

  13. I strongly encourage anyone and everyone to seek professional help. ↩︎

  14. How can the article be published? I'm still in the middle of writing it! ↩︎

  15. The writing utensil is less important than cutting distractions. A computer or phone is likely to give you a notification or distraction that will make this uncomfortable exercise feel less appealing. ↩︎

  16. MayoClinic ↩︎

  17. WebMD ↩︎